Friday, March 12, 2010 She bruised her lips on the soft sweet tart of purple passioned words dancing across her violet eyed smile.
I am still a day behind but its Friday so I am happy I have the weekend to catch up because I couldn't possibly skip a chance to highlight one of my favourite colours ... purple for spring colour week at poppytalk.
Thursday, March 4, 2010 i am stronger than i look and more fragile than you think.
(original photo by duke, crop and processing by me)
when i was a little girl, our backyard was filled with tall towering trees. i was a scrappy little thing with pigtails and scuffed knees and i loved nothing more than to climb as high as the branches would support me and sit up on top of the world dreaming in spaces of green. i still have pigtails and scuffed knees but my tree climbing skills are seriously out of practice and i may have to rectify that this summer.
i have been taking this amazing course, your courageous year because sometimes no matter how strong and capable we seem to the world at large, no matter how many brave steps we might have taken over the years, no matter how many wonderful things we accomplish, there is sometimes a lot of insecurity and negative self talk that can happen. sometimes its nice to have help along the way and sometimes its nice to meet new people that become part of your supportive community.
it can be hard work this living true to yourself, your deep down true self and it can be difficult to release your heart to the universe and trust that you are creating the stories about yourself and your life that best serve you.
i had a moment a week ago now, it was a powerful moment, a realization about something and so i declared it in what has become a safe place for me to express my truths as i discover them. i wanted to also share it here because i think there is power in the sharing,
"i am declaring ... that i was scared of success BUT for most of my life, i have been building a strong foundation of successful experiences and i am going to continue doing so recognizing that while the learning curve around leaning into success intimidates the girl that i was, when i recognize the pattern, i can embrace all my previous successes and acknowledge that i am worthy of more."
its easy for me to revert to the stories in my head, the memories of all that shames me still and makes me feel less than who i am. its much harder for me to acknowledge all the wonderful work i have done and to honour that in a way that honours me. but i'm working on it and figuring some stuff out.
i know that i want to live with integrity and intention. i want to be present in this and every moment that i am blessed with and so i am making changes, overhauling my life, following my dreams and learning how to work through the fears that i have held onto for far too long.
i won't lie to you, its uncomfortable and sometimes feels incredibly painful and there is a young girl inside my heart who is fragile and has been told she is unworthy and held down while she bleeds out her pain too many times to completely believe the truth, the truth that the birdcage has opened up her heart to the universal truth that she is beautiful and talented and worthy of the life she creates.
peace.
*also, check out a story of me, a guest post i was so happy to do on creative everyday
Monday, March 1, 2010 i have always had a lot of canadian pride but its always been a sort of quiet pride for this vast country that i live in. my mother was american when she gave birth to me, my father canadian. later that year, my mother made the decision to become canadian, the very same decision i would have to make before i turned 21. my options at the time were to become american or remain canadian, only one or the other, i couldn't be both.
it was actually a really hard decision because all the places i thought i wanted to live were across the border but when i listened to my heart, i knew. i am canadian. period. i didn't really know what that meant and after taking a few university sociology classes on canadian identity, i realized that it didn't appear to be an easy answer and it would have appeared that we mostly seemed to define ourselves by what we weren't.
what i do know is that i am not the only one who lives in this country whose heart carries a fierce pride and loyalty to the maple leaf that graces our red and white flag and to the diversity and wide open spaces that find us braving frozen winds and sitting in melting hot springs while fishing off the end of piers and dancing in city bright lights.
this pretty much sums it up,
i get teary watching it and can say with all sincerity, i am most definitely proud to be canadian.
Thursday, February 25, 2010 
link love:
* this amazing talk by jamie oliver
"in the past month, i have continued to eat healthy organic whole foods, choosing to spend some lovely time in my kitchen. i am still counting calories and drinking green smoothies and in the past month, i have lost 12 pounds. i feel great and have more energy than ever before. the only food that makes it into my house is certified organic and pasture raised, my milk comes in glass bottles and i buy as much local as i can in this climate. i thought this was going to end up costing us a lot more but the truth of the matter is, we are actually spending less money on food because we are eating less, we are not eating out at all and everything tastes so much better"
*yummy superman salad
"while it is definitely not all salads over here, i have made this one and it is yummalicious"
*fantastic instructions on making a handmade book
"making this is on my list of things to do in the next few months. i am going to fill it with photos and poem snippets of my friendships."
"i've been writing for a new site filled with all kinds of wonderful writers, this article talks about my awkward beginnings and a GIVEAWAY for a copy of 'lanterns' ~ go comment for a chance to win, that would make me super happy ... contest closes on saturday at midnight (mtn time) and the winner will be announced on sunday, february 28th."
*such a delicate beautiful redbud
"i love the mix of scanning artwork and real objects and think i am adding this to the ever long list of things to play with."
