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beginnings

By on Nov 20, 2014 | 0 comments

  as the world around me hovers in a state of crisp death, the sleep of the frozen, the fading light that sinks deeper and deeper into itself, i am reminded that this is the month that i was born into.  this is the time that i came to live, came alive. and there is a cycle of reminder in that.  and i remember birthday parties in the middle of the dense trees surrounding a long stream of frozen ponds and skating parties with warm fires to warm frozen toes and thermoses filled with the chocolate aroma of a thick steamed drink. my birthday this year is on the new moon.  and that feels special.  and i will be spending the evening with myself (well and ty dog), with some rituals, with a lot of burning blazing candles and i have made some decisions about the way forward, about myself.  the past year has felt momentous and the work that i have done pushing myself to limits that i...

the lonely winter

By on Nov 14, 2014 | 1 comment

  (holga / ilford 100 film) winter feels so very lonely to me this year and i have been thinking about the whys of this and whether this is a new feeling with respect to winter or a leftover emotion from winter’s past and my observations are this, we walk our dog every single night at the same time as it is a routine that he needs and demands and we give him because his life has not always felt safe and he is a rescue dog and that is just the way it is.  it is a little thing that makes him feel secure and i get it because i have the soul of a rescue dog and routine helps me feel much the same way even though i jump off cliffs and leave my comfort zone all the time but i keep routine within that.  digression is my middle name.  in the spring, summer and fall we are always running into people and their dogs, there are a lot of dog lovers in our hood.  now that winter had...

scar tissue

By on Nov 13, 2014 | 0 comments

  if i peel back the layers, my skin is a series of lines burnt into the living that happens but even scar tissue heals, it just does, the lines live under the skin marked in the stories that are no longer told, marked in the memories that surface less and less and a new and markedly different woman emerges, one that you don’t recognize in the mirror, one that smiles differently, the bones underneath shifted and turned around, unfathomable. if i peel back the layers, the lines of the tree trunk reveal the lives lived, the transitions, the years sloughed off and embedded deeply, printed on black and white paper reminiscent of an era that cannot be revisited because the world has changed and so have you even if you are only now catching up and re-learning who exactly you have become, unfit for public consumption. if i peel back the layers, i see all the selves holding her...

mash up – August 2014

By on Aug 31, 2014 | 0 comments

facebook snippets because this is my space and facebook is easier but things have a tendency to get lost in the ether of too muchness. August 2014 staycation weeks are the best hours upon hours of working in the garden is rewarded by a swim workout and then making basil pesto cause I have a lot of basil. good times. will pose for pets and scratches behind ears, weight training means I am a sore sore girl. bring it on. sort of ticked that I can no longer access my facebook messages without downloading the new messanger app. I am seriously considering leaving facebook. yard and gardens cleaned, weeded and plants staked and tied, house clean and fridge stocked, laundry done, all but one house project completed and I am ready to return to work and schedules again. I actually enjoy my regular routines of living because it is a good life I have. back at work but at least it is jeans week....

building a life

By on Aug 26, 2014 | 0 comments

  The echinacea bloomed early this year and now they form a massive thick stemmed fence on one side of my patio which reminds me that I need to separate them and move at least a quarter, if not a half, of them to another area.  My garden was interesting this year, seedlings sprouting in different parts of the garden, some mint here, and dill over there and so many cranesbill geraniums popping up all over the place and the daisy’s seem to have taken over even as the elephant ears attempt to become their own hedge.  It is an adventure every year and one that I love.     I am amazed at how many loving habits I can add to my life over time.  It starts off as an all consuming obsession that eventually becomes a normal part of my daily routine.  The garden was like that, it was a huge undertaking as these things are, a new to us historical house and a yard that had...