027
Monday, September 28, 2009 the universe is a vast and mysterious place and when you open your heart, it will embrace you in the most amazing ways, its true so very true.
this is me at squam on the dock where we sat under the stars and drank wine and laughed, cried, shared our words and pulled tarot cards and shed our clothes and swam naked under the stars. i am one lucky woman to share this world with so many beautiful souls.
(photo of me by the oh so gorgeous and talented miss vivienne)
on saturday, september 12th, i boarded a plane en route to ottawa. my heart was beating in that scared rat a tat way that comes with so much nervous energy and loads of fear. i was embarking on my big adventure, stepping far outside of my comfort zone and i cannot even begin to describe to you how scared i was. i couldn't even have told you what i was scared of in that moment but laying down in a fairy princess room i trusted my heart to a dear friend and i whispered in her ear my biggest fear. that i would be a disappointment to people i had yet to meet, tears ran down my face as they do again as i type this. she, held me and this fear and gently wiped it away with all the care of a friend who had been around forever and i still marvel that i met her for the first time on saturday, september 12th because i feel as though we have been friends for as long as i have walked the earth. its true. and she is not the only one.
over the past two weeks, i have walked such a beautiful amazing transformative path. from edmonton to ottawa to kingston and back to ottawa to new hampshire and squam and then to new jersey and new york to finally land back in edmonton just the other day. i met the most amazing beautiful people and experienced so many moments that have redefined my life. i have so many stories and thoughts and thousands of photos in digital and film and a stack of polaroids like i could have never believed possible in such a short time.
i have so much to process in my head, the whirlwind of love and acceptance i found, the pieces of me that opened up and are begining to explode inside of me. i came home changed, altered in a huge way. i am still processing it all. i am looking at the photos with tears running down my face. i am reading the posts and emails of so many of you who were at squam and seeing your photos and marveling at it all.
i think i have a lot to say but it will need to come out in small chunks, little stories, photographs and poetry. it will take me time but i will share. so many of my dreams came true in such a short span of time and i am still lightheaded from it all.
Reader Comments (27)
Oh Darlene...that photo says everything. I love you. I can feel the magic all the way here...and I'm joining you in raising my arms wide to the Universe.
Peace & Love.
oh how you shine! you shine so bright-- there is so much light in your eyes-- in your spirit in YOU-- how lucky we all were to have you there--- so blessed. what a journey you made-- I can't wait to follow along in hearing you process through it all. bisous, E
you are such a gift to the world xox
That is the thing about these kinds of trips (well, in your case, it was more like three trips in one! ;-))...they alter us...they leave an impression that ultimately changes us in some way. That is the gift; the fact that after is it is all said and done our lives are richer and better for having had the experience(s) to begin with. I'm glad for you. I'm proud of you. Rest and be peaceful this week. I love you.xoxo
hello, love! welcome home!!
you have time on your side as you gently sift through each and every delicious memory.
xo
It was such a pleasure meeting you and receiving your <HUG> card...so dreamy! xoxo Stef
What a fantastic photo, it really captures the emotion so well.
I have been missing your sweet, warm smile.
xoxo
sweet dar. you are more beautiful and radiant, inside and out, than i possibly could have imagined. you completely exceeded my hopes for what it would be like to be in your company, simply by being yourself.
I loved that night honey, it was magic. And I'm so very grateful that I got to be your roommate and for the week after. I love you. xo
Oh Darlene, I feel exactly the same way! I wish we could have spent more time together there. Perhaps there will be a next time? Fingers crossed!
dar*
honey, do you know how absolutely stunning your being is?
to simply share space with you.
to be in the same room.
to come here.
to stand beside you & before you.
oh, you are - di-vine.
i feel so much love for you, sweets.
deep down to my tippy-toes & beyond.
i've been thinking - do we need a dock to have a dock chat?
perhaps there's a way for us to converse before we get to that dock again...just a wondering...
sweet dreams, beauty.
xo,
gem
you my dear northern girl - your free love dome of stars - totally melted me down.
so very blessed and happy that through some of my most favorite chickadees, i found
you.
still - that friday nite - has been one of my best.
love you
peace.
kelly
....tell the duke i says hello...
I knew you would be absolutely loved...you know it's pretty much impossible to not be taken with you. ;-) I'm looking forward to more photos and tales...
and I'm kind of coveting that shirt you're wearing in that photo. Is that pompom fringe? Sorry, I have a bit of a thing for pompom fringe...:-)
Much love...
xoxoxo
You are a beauty, my dear! So very glad I got to meet you in person, even if it was brief. :-) xoxox
I know these feelings you talk about so eloquently. Adventures are wonderful, but it makes coming home again mean something all together different. I can't wait to hear all about your trip.
They all saw what I have seen since the very first time i met you, your big beautiful melting heart. so happy for you and looking forward to savouring all the bits.
love love love,
xoxoxo
How could people not fall in love with you? So open, so full of questions, searching, creating, accepting and sharing.
I think that photo of you is beautiful! xo
it is so true that the physical journeys take us to new places but the private journeys that happen along the way take us to places we didn't even know existed.
I am so so happy to have meet you and shared in even just a few key moments. I let the Canadian side down by not doing a moonswim or stardip (given our skies) but boy, did I relish the sounds of yours!!
peace and hugs, e
Missed you, love you, and holding you dear...
(((hugs))),
love,
me
i wish you were sleeping in the fairy princess room tonight ;-)
she wishes so too.
we adore you.xoxo
sounds beautiful. you are gorgeous in this photo, and always. hoping to be there next year, sounds glorious and free.
What an amazing experience you must have had...so transforming and life changing that you will need to express it in smaller bits.
I am smiling for you, inside and out.
xoxo
I am so happy you had such an experience. Don't you know you are one of those people, that other people had hoped to meet? I hope I do someday. In the meantime...Only Love.
:)
Some people just radiate awesomeness. YOU are one of those people.
No doubt everyone fell in love with you. No doubt, you had the time of your life. xo
as hard as it is for me to beleive that you
you of such sweetness and poetry and wordiness and beauty and inspiration
that you
could feel such insecurity
my heart also rang true
thinking
this
is how
i would feel...
this is exactly how i would feel.
i'm so glad you did what you did!
i'm proud of you and happy for you and just a little envious
that this was not my year...
but comfortable in the thought that eventually, it will be my year.
xo, sweetie, xo